Saturday, August 20, 2011

Long Time Since...

It has been ages since I have posted anything myself to the memory blog, but lately with all the upheaval with our Mom, I have been thinking a great deal about Dad and Ron. Especially Ron. Not really memories but a sense of expectancy. Sometimes it is just plain odd, like I am expecting him to show up. When it happens, I really do have to stop and remind myself he is no longer with us. Funny how the mind plays those tricks on you. The bigger question for me is why? I honestly can't decide if my mind is trying to take me back to happier times or warn me of bad times on the horizon. Or whether I just need someone to share the worry? Who knows. It is odd, no matter what.

The feelings, when they happen are both unsettling and strangely comforting. I can't even begin to explain it. Needless to say, since Mom had her stroke, Ron's been on my mind a lot. His birthday is next week, so maybe that has something to do with it. Or maybe his spirit really is near - staying close to Mom - watching over her, and I am some how sensing him? I really don't know, but the notion is as I stated above, unsettling as well as comforting in an odd sort of way.

Time has a way of moving forward whether we are willing to follow or not. Justin, Ron's son is all grown up and has joined the Navy; Jessica, his daughter is no longer that little girl that sat on his lap, and as each day passes, we form new memories. Time flows and we are swept along.
And maybe that's it, maybe it feels like we are moving too fast away from what was and that makes me want to pause, for just a bit, and remember what was.

Happy birthday, Ron.

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