Friday, October 16, 2009

Last week's episode of Stargate Universe had a subplot that dealt with loss of loved ones. The character was reliving a painful part of his life. He'd loss both parents at a very early age and their deaths haunted him, though he had suppressed it. One of his lines, and I can't recall his exact words, only the essence of it, was, "Some things you never get over."

I find this very true. Loss affects us. It wounds our spirit. It leaves its scars. Some wounds are so small that they're little more than a skin scrape, but some wound very deeply, the wound barely healing before something comes along to open it again. You never truly heal, never truly become whole again.

Death of someone near and dear to you is like that wound that never heals. Time dulls the pain, but it never fades. It doesn't take much to bring it to the surface. A song, a whispered word, a stray memory that opens a floodgate of memories and there you are, dealing with that loss all over again.

In time, you adjust, and you even find joy again. You move forward but you take with you those scars of life. The memories still come, unannounced, out of the blue, and give you pause. At times, they might be bittersweet; other times, they might be a welcome stroll down memory lane, a magical moment that lets them live again. I think it depends on what memory surfaces.

Once in a while, I look out across an open field, or drive down a road, and I think about all those people who occupied this space before me, and I wonder about all those who will take possession after I'm gone. And then I see my dad or my brother looking at the same field, or driving that same road and I always think: Yesterday they, too, were here, and today they are simply gone.

Vanished from scene.

"Some things you never get over."

October 20th will be two years since Ron left us. Hardly seems possible to me, but there it is, two years. I hope some of you will share your memories with us and allow us to celebrate a life well lived, though short.

Remember, we never truly fade away, as long as we are remembered.

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